Thursday, February 8, 2018

Things Jacob Says - Volume 3

At least once a year I try to dedicate a post to showcase all of the fun and crazy things that the kids say, and today it’s Jacob’s turn!

April 1, 2017

Brian – “Hey Jacob, today is April first.  Do you know what happened on April first?”

Jacob – “No, what?”

Brian – “I proposed to Mommy.”

Jacob – “What does proposed mean?”

Brian – “I asked Mommy if she would marry me.  On April 1, 2007 I asked Mommy if she would marry me and she said yes!”

Jacob – “Did you say please?”

Brian – “No, I don’t think I did.”

Jacob – “If you didn’t say please then why did she say yes?”

July 14, 2017

Olivia – “I want a grilled cheese that has cheese on it.”

Jacob – “All grilled cheeses have cheese in them.  That’s why their last name is cheese.”

August 4, 2017

Jacob after a trip to Walmart with Brian – “Do you know why it’s called Walmart?”

Brian – “Why?”

Jacob – “Because you need a wallet to buy stuff.  WAL-mart.”

Brian – “Oh really?  That’s a pretty good theory.”

Jacob – “Yep, that’s why God named it Walmart.”

August 28, 2017

Olivia looks up at the sun and says – “Look, there’s the sun!”

Jacob – “Did you know that Jesus is the sun?”

*Brian and I look at each other puzzled*

Then we realized that he means that Jesus is the SON, as in God’s son. 

September 9, 2017

Olivia talking about gymnastics – “Well, I fell on my head two twices so I don’t like gymnastics.”

Jacob – “Well actually two twices would just be four, so…”

September 27, 2017

Me – “Jacob, what did you end up having for lunch today?”

Jacob – “A corndog, but I don’t like corndogs.”

Me – “Well, did you pull the bread off and just eat the hot dog?”

Jacob – “Wait, there’s a hot dog in there?!”

October 18, 2017

Jacob gives me a hug and then says – “Mommy, do you know why I didn’t squeeze you too hard?”

Me – “No, why, Buddy?”

Jacob – “Because I heard you have a back allergy.”  (Referring to my back pain.)

December 15, 2017

In the car on the way home…

Jacob – “Mommy, I know how to spell liquor.”

*Me, trying to figure out how he knows the word liquor*

Me – “How do you spell… liquor, buddy?”

Jacob – “L-I-Q-U-O-R”

*Me, baffled, trying to figure out how he knows how to spell liquor, and why he even knows the word in the first place*

Me – “Why do you know the word liquor, Bud?”

Jacob – “Because it’s right on that sign over there!”


February 6, 2018

Jacob after putting on chap stick – “I don’t have lipstick, I have life stick.  Because when it touches your lips it changes your life.”

And that’s a wrap!


  1. SO FUNNY! Liquor...that is priceless!

  2. Hahaha, cracking up! So true about chapstick. And so deep with the saying please when proposing - you have got to remind him of that in years when he finds the perfect person for him!

  3. Chap stick "life stick"/ "lip stick" changes my life, too, life, too... 😂 ;) Lol! These were fantastic!

  4. LOL!! Chapstick does change your life!!! And he is a clever little guy with the liquor and knowing that please is needing when asking an important question.

  5. These are too cute. I love that a grilled cheese's last name is cheese! little boys say the funniest things!

  6. The first two had me cracking up! and the back allergy one gave me all the heart eyes ... too cute!

  7. I love posts like this. I always want to write them but never remember, although I had a few from when Simon was younger! My favorite is grilled cheese / last name cheese!

  8. LOLOL I had to go over to my coworker and tell her about the Walmart one!!

  9. bahahah, the liquor, the fact that he could read it, amazing! I love the things kids say.

  10. I love that you are keeping up with these. They will cherish them one day, especially when Jacob is looking for material for his opening night at The Improv!

    1. Haha. Yep, he'll have a good ol' time reading these when he's older!

  11. Kids are too funny with what they say. I love that he asked Brian if he said please before he proposed to you. Haha and how about God named Walmart!

  12. I am cracking up!! He is the sweetest and funniest little boy! <3

  13. Oh my gosh he is a riot. I am cracking up about the corn dog thing.

  14. I'm dying....this totally got my morning off with a good laugh! I just love how funny kids are. You will be so glad you documented some day!! He's a hoot.


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